Bahamut's New Neighbour
by Xirevius
Summary: I don't know what to make of it. Bahamut has a neighbour, and that neighbour would give Bahamut a lot of reasons to go crazy. The first chapter serves as a birthday fic to DracoZombie. I doubt she will read it anyways, otherwise I'll put Bahamut on a leas


AUTHOR : Poke Actor  
EMAIL :  
DATE : 26/08/2004

TITLE : Bahamut's New Neighbour

DESC : Bahamut was sleeping in his lair when he discovered that a GF is making its own lair a little too close to his own. Who is this GF and why is Bahamut not pleased about it? Made for DracoZombie's 14th birthday. Enjoy!  
DISC : No part of Final Fantasy is mine, and neither is the island (I wish it's mine though). I own the rights of throwing a party, and that is what I just did. Oh, and this is a special Bahamut fic dedicated to DracoZombie for her 14th Birthday! Celebration!!!  
EFFORT : 8/10

  
**CHAPTER 1 - It started with some bad music**  
  


It all happened in a small remote island that is constantly moving from place to place, never stopping at the same place twice. Day and night, the island looked empty and deserted, devoid of any life signs, but everything changes on that particular night. The once quiet island burst into life as rappy music begin to play and the flood lights shone into the sky from the helipad area. Ruby Dragons lined up from the Helipad area, slowly entering the main Lair of the creature they regarded as their master.

Bahamut was never the one who would throw big parties, but when he does throw a big one, it is really going to be huge. A great buffet consisted of free range food cooped up in a pen, a mixture of cows, chickens and horses, with an occasional ox or two. There was also a stage, and the spotlights focused their beams towards the Ruby Dragon DJ, as well as the stage full of Ruby Dragons dancing. The DJ played some heavy rapping out of some rock music, and the DJ seems to be enjoying this job. The Ruby Dragons don't mind how the music sounds. Tonight happens to be the first out of many months since every single dragon could get to relax from the daily grind of working as Bahamut's minions.

Bahamut does not intend to dance. He was not quite as social as the rambunctious Rubies due to the fact that he's One of a Kind. He is the King Of Dragons, and there is only one King Of Dragons. He has no rivals that could stand up against him, and he intends it to stay that way. Instead, he was chewing on an unfortunate Anacondaur which happens to get in his way. Besides dancing, there was a tournament ring where Ruby Dragons could pit against one another in combat, where the dragon who pins its opponent for three whole seconds wins. Bahamut really wanted to join, but the Ruby Dragons would avoid him like a plague, remembering the last time he played... in which he almost killed five Ruby Dragons with a Mega Flare in a fit of rage when overpowered and pinned by two Ruby Dragons in a handicap match.

That party went on until two in the morning, but the rap music was left playing along with a few party crazed dragons. Bahamut, feeling like getting a little shut eye, picked his resting spot deep below the dance floor, thinking the room is isolated and quiet. Bahamut lay down on a smooth slab of stone, his senses heightening the moment his head touches the ground. He could smell the party food he had ate, he could feel the smooth stone slab scraping against his tough hide, he could also hear the cricket's chirping noisily. Bahamut blinked as he shifted uncomfortably. That didn't sound like crickets chirping... it sounded different. It was music, but not his favorite kind of music. It sounded like..... kiddy songs! Bahamut opened his eyes and rushed up the the dance floor, seeing a few Ruby Dragons dancing about to the beat of hard rock, not kiddy songs. Bahamut blinked his tired and sore eyes and scratched his head, returning to his sleeping spot and laying down again. It had hardly been five minutes when he heard the childish songs again. The song "Old Mac Donald Had a Farm" was heard, and he could hear loud karoeke singing. Opening his eyes, he ran back to the dancefloor and glared at the Ruby Dragon DJ and his jukebox, which was still playing rap music. He fired a Mega Flare straight at the DJ, blowing up the equipment with the DJ. All music stopped.

"Party's over! Go back home!" he bellowed, forgetting that the Ruby Dragons live here with him on the same island. "Ugh... to have minions..." he muttered as he went back to his resting spot going back to sleep. Bahamut jumped back up within minutes, covering his earholes. "WHAT THE HELL? HAVE I GONE CRAZY?!?!" he practically roared, smashing his fist against the wall creating a little tremor.

Bahamut looked at the crack on the wall then snorted, laying down again to have some sleep. Nothing was playing - absolute silence ensued, much to the King of Dragon's liking. His eyelids grew heavy, the surrounding area faded away pleasantly enough as he traverses from the real world to his dream world.

* * *

Bahamut grinned looking at a band of humans coming closer and closer to him. He could smell them over a mile away and he had sic some of his minions at them. His minions had failed to stop them, but they left the humans a little weakened. And because of that, he could take advantage of them and wipe them all out nice and easy. He turned back to address one of his minions.

"Go up there and tell the DJ to play the Boss Music and pitch it throughout the island. This is going to be my finest moment..."

The minion left in a hurry to deliver the message to the DJ and the Blue Terror of All and Nothing rears up for the pounce. The humans went closer and closer, so close until..... Bahamut roared and attacks the party of humans.

On queue, the Boss Music plays, and Bahamut roars and flaps his regal wings proudly, wanting to intimidate his foes. Finding out that it didn't work, he reared his head and an orb charges quickly in his mouth, signalling the beginning of his devastating Mega Flare.

"Die, Humans" he thought to himself, just before the music drastically, making him choke over his Mega Flare attack. Bahamut gripped his neck, wheezed and choked some more. "WHAT THE CRAP?!?!" he exclaimed as he looked at the speakers playing throughout the base, playing a kiddy song.

_"This is a song, la la la la, Elmo's song...."_

"Hey, Bahamut! How old are you? Seven or something?" one of the humans spoke out, the yellow spiked bangs making him stand out above the rest.

"Or maybe he's a proud father of his own miniature" came a slick and smooth voice coming from a guy with a drab trenchcoat with a shotgun.

"It's my favorite song!" a female shouted, swinging her nunchaku wildly.

"I think we caught him at a bad time" murmured a lady holding a whip

"............" was all the supposed leader has to say.

Bahamut had never been insulted by humans in that way, and neither had he been so humiliated all his life because of this music. He turned to leave the humans alone while he stormed over to the control room, where the music was supposed to be played from. With eyes burning mad, Bahamut didn't think twice before unleashing his Mega Flare at the equipment the moment he entered the room. The room burst into flames and the music stopped.... for ten whole seconds.

Bahamut turned his head towards the source of the song infuriated. Sitting on the swivel chair sat an Elmo Doll.... singing endlessly! Bahamut screamed in annoyance and blew the doll to kingdom come. Bahamut panted heavily because he used up a considerable amount of energy in his attack. He smiled finally ridding himself of that accursed childish music.... until he felt something fuzzy on his shoulder followed by the singing of "Elmo's Song".

Bahamut froze as his draconic blood froze in what humans branded fear, to which a dragon like himself denies of its existence in his species. The Elmo Doll was on his shoulders - and it winked.

"AAAAHHH!!!! GET OFF ME!!!!" he yelled, grabbing the doll and hurling it into the blazing fire in the control room.

"Are you done yet?" came a smooth slick voice.

Bahamut turned his head and noticed that the humans had followed him here.

"We have an unfinished score to settle" the man with the shotgun added, aiming it at Bahamut. He lowered his gun and exclaimed in a squeaky voice which does not so sound human "But first..... This is a song, la la la la, Elmo's Song...."

The guy holding the shotgun pulled out his facemask and clothing, revealing an Elmo Doll. Bahamut choked up in a gasp, his beads of cold sweat forming. His spine froze when he heard the song as he whispered really softly "No..... stop...."

The youngster with a scar on his face carrying a gunblade seeming to be a leader of the pack, removed mask and clothing, letting it fly to the air.... another Elmo Doll singing the next line of the song "La la la la, La la la la, Elmo's Song".

In queue, the guy with the spiked yellow hair, the girl with a short miniskirt and nunchaku, and the lady holding a whip began to tor apart their costumes, flinging them up in the air revealing.... you guessed it.... more Elmos singing altogether in a chorus "La la la, La la la la..... La la la, La la la la...."

Bahamut, covering his ears glared at the party of Elmos and charged up his most powerful Mega Flare. He fired it, noticing at the last minute that a girl in blue with a dog casted what he recognised it as Invincible Moon, a move that could make the whole party invincible. Bahamut did a mental double take as he repeated what he just thought five seconds ago "A MOVE THAT WHAT?!?! OH GOD NO!!!!"

The Blast hits the party of Elmos dead on, but none of them took damage. The girl and the dog took off their costumes too, and because Bahamut is as freaked out as he is officially scared, he dare not look anymore.... he retreated! The Elmos holding weapons began to make a charge towards the King Of Dragons, yelling a war cry... which is the much feared "Elmo's Song". And for some reason, they caught up to him, for as soon as Bahamut was about to fly away to freedom from his lair, he felt a heavy river of red fuzziness crashing down onto him, drowning away his screams with their song.

* * *

Bahamut got up screaming, his claws clutching his sweaty face. His breathing was intense and his nerves had never felt so shattered in his entire life. He was convinced he was going to lose it. He looked around the dark surrounding, realising he was back in his resting spot. The dragon slowly recollected the party and that he slept. Concluding that all that was a dream, no, a nightmare.... Bahamut sighed in relief.

Bahamut froze again when he heard something. "Elmo's Song" is playing again. He could hear the song faintly. He would have retreated at full haste had it not been for the sound of the singing. Although it was squeaky and squealy, that singing did not sound like Elmo's singing. In fact, it sounded way too familiar. Bahamut approached a wall and placed the side of his head against the wall slowly, pinpointing where the sound came from. Bahamut pulled his head back and reared his fist, punching a hole through the seemingly thick wall. A shrill scream could be heard, but his claw grabed hold of something small and furry. He yanked the culprit out.... by the long green ears. Bahamut's eyes would have widened in surprise had it not been replaced with a deep and vengeful death-like glare. His teeth, seething with smoke, roared at the Guardian Force he held in his claws

**"CARBUNCLE!"************  
  
**

**********TO BE CONTINUED**

******  
  
** ********  
******  
**** Hence ends the first chapter of this fic on Bahamut's new neighbour. I tried to keep it as simple as possible without over emphasising on detail, and I must admit I did an okay job at it. I hope this fic would make a good fic present for DracoZombie, because the Authoress' story "Road Trip" featuring all the summonable GF's made me laugh and brightened my day with a good dose of insanity. Least I can do to repay the favor is to.... well.... write her a fic for her Birthday. So here's the message to DracoZombie:  
  
****

HAPPY BIRTHDAY  
DracoZombie!!!

* * *

**


End file.
